The name I was born with is Astrid van der Meer, given to me on the 9th of August 1975 in the Netherlands. I chose to be born in a dysfunctional family. My loving father repeated his own childhood traumas as he had forgotten how to heal himself. My mother a loving and anxious mama. I grew up with my sister, who is 2,5 years older than me. At a young age, I learned to suppress my feelings and not trust my intuition. I learned to behave as was expected of me, coping as best I could in our family. I was intelligent and could quickly adjust to different situations. I learned to forget not only the harder days but also the good times. It felt like a bit of a breather when my parents divorced, and my father moved out. A bit more space to be. I used it as an excuse to not pass my high school exams at the age of 17 and did an extra year. After that, I was ready to move out, starting my studies in psychology. A time to try out new things, not studying hard, but enjoying life. It took me 6 instead of 4 years to graduate. Then my father passed over, while I was in my last year of psychology. The first death in my life. Grieving was new to me, and I was angry for a long time. This big life event gave me renewed purpose. The feeling that life is too short not to do the things that you want. I always wanted to be a doctor, and via a back door with a current degree in psychology, I got into Medicine. More years of studying, but more motivated. I was the teacher in one of the classes about communication. Interesting to look back at things like that now, from a different perspective. We are always the teacher and the student. I met the father of my children, and we were together for 10 years before our son was born. Not long after his birth, my mother passed over. So many big life events together had a big impact on my life. Even though I could not remember my childhood, I felt I wanted to be the best mother I could be for my son. With my study in psychology, I raised him with positive affirmations, complimenting what he could do and not reinforcing the things he could not do. I made many ‘mistakes’ and learned, and am still learning so much from my children. When he was nearly 4 years old, our family decided to move to New Zealand on a 2-year work visa. A change of lifestyle, to slow down, but in all fairness, also to just run away from all the sorrow. Landing in Whakatane, we have been here for the last 12 years.